“You’re just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.”
-William C. Hannan
After having a phone conversation with my professor, I felt like I definitely had a clear sense of the path that I was in, or at least, wanted to be in with my thesis. I was definitely pumped! The following day, I ended up having a conversation with another professor who is guiding me through an independent study, and we discussed a little of what I was trying to do. I don’t feel confident about how I explained my thesis in that particular meeting, but she got the gist of what I was saying. She loved my ideas, and was excited as I am about the creative aspect of my thesis and the poetry that will be incorporated into the digital portion aside from the actual paper. However, we did have a discussion about the fact that my topic can actually be stretching and/or reaching into the dissertation realm. Am I trying to pursue too much? I realized that with the questions that I was posing, I may have to go into a full fledged study and that might be a lot for a masters thesis in terms of what I may have been looking to prove. It also might not be that much. My independent study advisor and I talked about a possible ethnographic lens or approach (a short narratives vibe).
I do agree that it is important to start with the self and to know ones own process before theories and concepts are applied and dealt with in a classroom setting. How am I going to write about process or identity or creativity in the classroom and present my thesis to teachers/professors unless I am aware of my own process and identity…. unless I feel I am confident balancing academic writing with the creative and then relaying that? I definitely don’t have to have all of the answers and be the “expert”, but I sure can experiment with how I work and use that as a leading example, right? It might help to start with me and take a more reflective approach.
I had this thought after my phone conversation the day before I had the meeting with my independent study advisor. Were we on the same page? hmm.. So, could I have each chapter in my thesis be comprised of research on or about that poem, with reflective thoughts on how that poem came to be and my process in writing it… How it connects into my larger theme and how it worked within and under my electronic literature umbrella… How media affected my process or enhanced my process with the poem? In order to convince others that media or e lit can be effective or beneficial to students and their writing, I want my e lit piece to be a prime example, or an exhibit A if you will, of what I am talking about. A “this is what I have done and experienced. I am confident that this can work” kind of a thing.
I walked out of her office pumped all over again for the possibilities and the leeway that I feel that I have to make this into something I never thought it could even be. I don’t know if I am making sense right now, and I don’t know if I necessarily want to go in this direction, but I am excited and that is what is important to me right now. Either way… I am excited and ready to start. This would not be possible without the passion, ambition, and motivation that is behind this project. I can feel it in me. I am trying to hear its voice. What is it saying, and what does it want to be?